I am having such a hard time excepting that my daughter has cancer. I just don't understand. I am so heart broken and I cannot hardly sleep and eat. I try so hard, so I can be strong for her but I am so torn in side. Two weeks ago today is they day I found out she had a tumor behind her heart and I keep hearing the doctor saying over and over in my head. We spent a week at Dorenbecher's Children'd hospital and I was so busy with all the test and surgery to find out what kind of cancer she had I really had no time to just soak it all in. I am home now and reality has sunk in. She just looks so healthy on the out side and knowing on the inside is sick is killing me. She has 7 more treatments and it seems so far away. She is my baby and I hate seeing her hurt and seeing her go through this. I have litteraly woke up in my worst nightmere and I wish I would just wake up.
When I had her I had my perfect happy family one son and two daughters. Every check up a clean bill of health and the out of the blue Adriana wakes up with a limp. Then layed out, No more walking, crawling or rolling over. I just couldn't understand how a 15 month old goes from walking to not in four days. I am glad I know now but it's not what I wanted to hear. She has the biggest smile and the most beautiful eye lashes( I am even jelouse of) She loves to give you real kisses I have never seen a baby pucker up there lips like she does. She is just soooo perfect in my eyes. I think thats why I hate knowing she is sick on the inside. I'm sure that it will get a bit easier with time, but I wish I was already there. Thanks for letting me vent. DeAnna